Why my Android Games are not available on Google Play

Note: This version has been heavily edited from the original rant!

Overview

The reason is mostly because Google Play has become a rather hostile environment for those of us who are operating as individuals rather than as companies.

Background

When I went to set up a Play Console account last year (2024), I decided to check out the submissions process for new apps before I parted with my $25 registration fee. In the event, I'm glad I did, and saved myself a small amount of money in the process by declining to register. Since then, things have got worse. Much worse.

Before I continue, I'll make clear that I have no issues with this one time only fee, as it goes a small way towards deterring the worst of the spammers who would otherwise open hundreds of accounts, while still being somewhat affordable to cash-strapped independents like me. Or maybe it doesn't...

The Issue

So, I hear you ask, what's the real beef?

Mandatory Closed Beta Testing for non-corporate developers, and only non-corporate developers, that's what.

First of all, you need to recruit at least 12 (down from 20 originally) testers to participate in a formal test setting. For a whole two weeks, continuously and simultaneously. I might, in a good period, be able to muster two or three at that level of commitment, but no more.
I suspect a lot of independent developers are in pretty much the same boat. You might have lots of friends, but how many use recent-ish Android phones and of those, how many are prepared to commit to a two week test regime?
Of course, you can always reach out to those enterprising souls openly advertising their services over at Fiverr and suchlike to do it, but for me there's a trust issue at stake here - not to mention extra costs.
Per app. Per ******* free app.

It doesn't even stop there. You now also have to write what amounts to an essay describing why your app should exist and justifying its appearance on the Play Store.
I'm making small, ultra casual games, the sort of thing you play to kill ten minutes on the bus. I just don't need this garbage. If they're worried about too many apps of the same kind on the store, well, that horse bolted a decade and a half ago, and has long since dropped dead and gone to the glue factory.
One stable door, thoroughly locked.
I guess this is likely be a job for ChatGPT / Copilot / whichever stochastic parrot is flavour of the week today. Yet more power guzzling machine made slop to be consumed by other machines, what a colossal waste of time and resources. Or I could write it myself, which is merely a soul destroying waste of time. Either way, I'm not doing it.

Why does this matter?

Nothing about any of this guarantees or even encourages Google's stated aim of improving application quality.
Rather, it is a bureaucratic exercise that restricts access to the marketplace and benefits nobody except those with deep pockets who can buy their way around these artificial barriers. Large companies are, of course not bothered by these rules, and can easily hire people whose only purpose is to deal with them. Of course, they don't have to - if you have a Dun & Bradstreet number you can still do prettty much as you please.

Oh... And another thing

In these security aware times, you may find this very hard to believe, but as far as I can tell at this time, it appears to be true nevertheless.

Google requires developers to provide valid identification and contact information, specifically a full legal name, a full street address (no P.O. Boxes are allowed) and a working telephone number.
All fine and dandy, as far as it goes - they need this information if, for example, there are legal issues arising from your app, or to snitch to the tax authorities if you are impertinent enough to make any money...

What is most certainly NOT fine is that even for non corporate developers they then publish this highly sensitive information right there in the app listing for the whole world and their dog to see. Google appear to expect independent devs to run a corporate level support department for what is basically a hobby pastime, never mind the very real security implications of potential weirdos turning up on the doorstep at any hour of the day - or worse.
I've heard about doxxing, but this truly takes the cake... all served up on a silver platter.

This would appear to be an attempt to clear out small, non corporate developers - nothing good is going to come of it, for the consumer, anyway.

Some more interesting info

I read recently that the number of apps available in Google Play had dropped by a staggering 47%, from 3.4 million to 1.8 million since the beginning of 2024 when all these new rules started coming into play. (I'm writing this in April 2025). See above for an obvious reason for at least some of this reduction - no sane, safety conscious independent developer is going to voluntarily expose themselves to that level of personal risk for the sake of an app, in fact they are much more likely to delist their apps from the store instead.

In conclusion

Welcome to the brave new world of homogenised corporate mediocrity and stagnation. I won't be taking part - I can't afford to!

There is no way that I am ever likely to make enough from in-app ad impressions to cover the initial and ongoing costs (financial and temporal) associated with incorporation as a limited company and complying with Google's byzantine and ever-changing rules (I've only touched on the major issues - yes, there are lots of other not-quite showstopping irritants) while still maintaining some degree of personal security.

As for selling paid versions of my apps, well... this is Android, and that idea is strictly for the birds.

I will be keeping an eye on the situation just in case there is a change in policy, but I'm not going to hold my breath. As it stands, Google Play is non-viable for me.